


don't let 'em get to you

by transpeterparker (partlycharlie)



Series: pride month 2k19 [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Asexual Character, Asexual Clint Barton, Deaf Clint Barton, Do you see where I'm going with this, It's awesome, M/M, Sign Language, Sirens, its chill, lol, meat lover's pizza, the implied tony and clint is just tony lowkey lusting after him, they're pirates guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 07:38:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19058182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/partlycharlie/pseuds/transpeterparker
Summary: “What did they bribe you with?” Sam’s the one to ask.Clint scratches the back of his head, looking embarrassed. “Meat lover’s pizza,” he says, avoiding disbelieving eyes. “It’s - it’s been a while.”





	don't let 'em get to you

**Author's Note:**

> so basically i decided two hours ago that i was going to do a fic every day of june and here we are. so. enjoy :)
> 
> warnings for bucky gets tied up momentarily

“Oh - shit oh shit oh shit shit shit _shit_ -”

“Hey - Bucky? Bucky?” Tony grabs Bucky by the shoulders, shakes him a little. He doesn’t react, staring open-mouthed at something in the distance. “What’s wro-”

“ _Steve,_ ” Bucky says, reaching out, and Tony automatically scans the ship to find him, but he’s nowhere to be found - probably under the deck just like the rest of the crew. 

But wait - why did Bucky say -

“Steve - wait up!” Bucky’s eyes glaze over and he starts to walk towards the front of the ship. Tony swings his head in the same direction and sees, so tiny they almost aren’t visible, a group of - 

Shit. 

Of course.

Of all the things it could be?

Could’ve been mermaids, could’ve been selkies, could’ve been a kraken… fucking _sirens._

Thank fuck they all learned sign language.

“STEVE! GRAB YOUR EARPLUGS!”

\---

 _What the H-E-L-L are we going to do?_ Steve says, signs relaxed but face tight.

Tony understands his anger - he knows for sure he’d be mad if _his_ husband got distracted by a bunch of asshole ladies to try to seduce him to his death.

Not that he has one, but -

Anyway.

Steve had run up the stairs, a pair of earplugs in his hands and a pair in his ears.

(Tony’s not quite sure how he knew to grab more than one pair, but he’s certainly not complaining - gods know Tony didn’t want to be any more incapacitated than necessary.)

Even Steve couldn’t snap Bucky out of it, no matter how hard he tried (that’s how you knew something was fucked, honestly). Eventually, they just stuffed some plugs into his ears and tied him to the back of the ship, hoping it would wear off soon.

 _None of us are immune,_ Bruce signs, but slowly. Tony doesn’t know if it’s because he’s thinking of something or if he forgot the sign for _immune_ , but he’s really hoping for the former because Tony’s brain is fully blank.

There’s a pause, everybody thinking. 

Natasha cuts a hand through the air. Their heads swivel towards in her in response.

They’d only been learning sign language for a couple of weeks when they realized communicating in a large group would be incredibly difficult if they didn’t come up with some way to get the others’ attention. Thus - something that caused an obvious vibration or was loud enough (whether in decibel levels or otherwise) to catch their attention.

Natasha hates it the most out of all of them - she doesn’t like being obvious under any circumstances, much less ones where they can’t afford to talk, but she suffers through it anyway.

 _Wait what about Clint?_ Natasha’s eyebrows are furrowed. _Where is he?_

Sam’s hands raise, ready to answer, then stall. _Sleeping I think. Why?_

_Well you know he’s A-S-E-X-U-A-L. Shouldn’t he be immune?_

Tony’s eyes widen. _Holy shit you’re a genius I’ll go get him_ , he signs, rushed, and runs for the stairs.

\---

Tony shuts the door leading to the stairs and yanks out his earplugs, confident in the relative soundproofiness of their bunks.

They always have at least two people above to alert the rest of them if something happens, but the crew needs their sleep when they can get it.

“CLINT FRANCESCA BARTON GET YOUR ASS UP HERE!”

He hears Clint groan and stomps down the hall, throwing open Clint’s door. Inside, Clint is half-naked, torso contorted into a frankly indecent position while he stretches. One hand is rubbing at his ear, the other braced on the cot.

“Fuckin’ _ow_ ,” he mutters, closing his eyes.

Tony takes a second to admire the miles of lean, tanned bronze skin - shit, Tony really is blessed by the gods, to be surrounded by all these beautiful ass people. Then he says: “CLINT. GET UP.” 

Very loudly.

Clint jolts. “Wha’ -” Clint clears his throat, shoving down the sleepiness that lingers in his voice. “What’s up?”

“There are sirens upstairs and Bucky’s out of commission and we all have earplugs in so that we won’t try to kill ourselves for that good pussy but also they always seduce people with what they want the most which is generally sex and you don’t like sex so can you come upstairs and steer us away from them pretty please?”

Tony sucks in a huge breath. He had no idea he could speak for that long without taking a breath, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Clint nods, thank fuck.

(As if he had any other option?)

Tony nods back, more firm now that he knows they have a plan, picks up a shirt from Clint’s floor and throws it at him.

(Regretfully, because _damn,_ but all that skin on display like that is kind of distracting and they both know it.)

Clint follows him out of the room and across the hall. Tony makes to plug his ears again, but Clint speaks up before he can.

“Hey, Tones?”

Tony stops and turns back towards him. “Yeah?”

Clint looks nervous - it’s a weird expression on him, slightly off, too rare to be familiar on his face. “What if it doesn’t work?”

“Uh.” Tony’s not quite ready to admit he hadn’t thought of that, so he just shrugs. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it?”

Clint sighs. “Yeah, sure.”

\---

Tony pushes open the door and races up the last few steps, holding it open for Clint to step through. He stops on the last step, eyes scanning the rest of the group, all of them sitting in a circle, staring at him.

Bucky’s sitting there, still bound in ropes but eyes clear and watching closely. Tony shoots him a thumbs up.

In retrospect, all of them just kind of… sitting there… waiting…  does look a little (a lot) creepy, but there’s nothing to be done about it now so Tony just pulls Clint through the door and shoves him toward the front of the ship.

He makes it a couple of steps, then stops, frozen.

Ah, shit.

“No, no no no no, c’mon, it wasn’t supposed to be you…” Bruce rushes past him, grabbing onto Clint’s hand as he started to walk towards the edge of the ship. He runs past Clint, pivoting on one foot once he reaches him and waving a hand in his face. “Clint - Clint! Oh, Jesus Christ on a bicycle.”

_Shit._

Tony’s eyes flicker - they could use Steve, maybe, because he knows Bucky’s not back there with the rest of them, but _really_ it would be better if they could have someone they didn’t have to worry ab-

Oh.

(Clint’s hand rubbing at his ear, his hearing sensitivity, his muttered “ow”, his -)

Oh, god, they’re all idiots.

Tony powerwalks up to Clint and reaches into his hair with both hands, powering down the hearing aids. Almost immediately, Clint stops fighting, sagging into Bruce’s arms with a huff.

 _Why didn’t we think of that before?_ Tony signs, laughing ferociously.

Bruce rolls his eyes.

\---

Later, after they’ve sailed away and pulled all of their plugs out (and turned on their aids, in Clint’s case), the crew all finds themselves wondering -

“What did they bribe you with?” Sam’s the one to ask.

Clint scratches the back of his head, looking embarrassed. “Meat lover’s pizza,” he says, avoiding disbelieving eyes. “It’s - it’s been a while.”

They look at each other, and dissolve into laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed!!!
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](https://partlycharlie.tumblr.com)
> 
> (feel free to give me prompts! i'm always down)


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